The Lie Older Adults Are Told About Tech
There’s a quiet lie older adults are told about technology.
It sounds harmless.
It does real damage.
“If it was important, you’d already know how to do this.”
Most older adults I work with aren’t bad at tech.
They’re capable. Thoughtful. Curious.
What they don’t get is time.
They get rushed explanations.
They get jargon.
They get the feeling they’re holding someone up.
And once pressure enters the room, learning shuts down.
Here’s the truth no one says out loud:
Tech doesn’t move fast. People are pushed fast.
Most frustration isn’t confusion.
It’s pressure.
Pressure to remember everything the first time.
Pressure not to ask the same question twice.
Pressure to “keep up.”
Screens don’t notice pressure.
People do.
A login screen doesn’t care if you’re nervous.
An update doesn’t slow down because you’re unsure.
And when something goes wrong, the screen explains what, not why.
So smart, capable adults start blaming themselves.
“I’m just not good at this.”
“I should know this by now.”
“Everyone else gets it.”
That’s the lie doing its work.
But watch what happens when pressure disappears.
When someone slows down.
Explains things calmly.
Let’s you pause without correction.
Confidence returns—fast.
Not because the tech changed.
Because the environment did.
Learning needs room.
Learning needs repetition.
Learning needs permission to breathe.
Real support isn’t about speed.
It’s about safety.
The safety to click without panic.
The safety to ask again.
The safety to say, “I don’t get it yet.”
Once that safety exists, something shifts.
People stop avoiding their devices.
They stop waiting for someone else to fix things.
They start trusting themselves again.
And that’s the part that matters.
Technology isn’t about knowing everything.
It’s about feeling calm enough to try.
If technology has felt heavier than it should lately, that’s not a personal failure.
It usually just means no one slowed down with you.
A calmer way forward exists—and it starts by removing the pressure.
