Client Profile: The Real Reason Your Parents Hate Technology
It’s not because they’re bad at tech.
It’s not because they’re stubborn.
It’s not because they refuse to learn.
It’s because every time they ask for help…
someone makes them feel small.
They Don’t Hate Technology. They Hate Humiliation.
I’ve seen it at kitchen tables all over New York City.
The nervous laugh.
The apology before the question.
“I know this is probably stupid…”
That sentence tells you everything.
Not about their intelligence.
About what they’ve been conditioned to believe.
Older adults don’t hate technology.
They hate being rushed.
They hate being talked over.
They hate when someone grabs the mouse and says,
“Here, just let me do it.”
They hate being told, “It’s easy.”
Because when it’s not easy for them,
that word feels like a verdict.
The Problem Isn’t the Device. It’s the Delivery.
Technology isn’t the enemy.
Speed is.
Modern tech is built for people who live online.
Older adults built their lives in the physical world.
Different wiring.
Different pacing.
Different expectations.
And there is nothing wrong with that.
But when you take someone who learned in a slower, steadier environment
and drop them into an ecosystem that updates every six months…
friction is inevitable.
The issue isn’t capability.
It’s context.
What “I Hate This Computer” Really Means
I had a client who bought a beautiful, top-of-the-line laptop.
Thousands of dollars.
She still froze every time she logged in.
Not because she couldn’t learn.
But because no one had ever slowed down long enough to explain what was actually happening.
No one wrote it down.
No one repeated it.
No one gave her control.
So she assumed the problem was her.
It wasn’t.
It was the delivery.
When someone says,
“I hate this computer,”
what they often mean is,
“I hate how this makes me feel.”
Small.
Confused.
Dependent.
And that’s heavy for someone who has:
Raised a family.
Run a business.
Managed a household.
Adapted to decades of change.
These are not fragile people.
They’re experienced people being forced to learn in an environment that has no patience.
Why Speed Is the Real Enemy
Tech stores sell speed.
Older adults need space.
That’s the gap.
And it’s bigger than most families realize.
If you’ve ever felt frustrated trying to explain something to your parents
Pause.
They’re not resisting you.
They’re protecting their dignity.
Every rushed explanation reinforces the belief that they’re behind.
And once someone believes they’re behind,
they stop asking questions.
That’s when frustration turns into avoidance.
And avoidance turns into “I hate this.”
When You Slow Down, Everything Changes
When they hold the mouse.
When they click.
When they repeat the step themselves.
When you write it down in plain English.
Something shifts.
Their shoulders drop.
They breathe.
They smile.
Not because they mastered an iPhone.
But because no one made them feel stupid.
That’s the real breakthrough.
Not faster WiFi.
Not a newer device.
Confidence.
Before You Get Frustrated With Your Parents…
If you’re reading this as a son or daughter…
Try one shift.
Instead of asking,
“Why don’t you get this?”
Ask,
“What part of this feels stressful?”
That question changes everything.
It turns a technical problem into a human conversation.
And that’s where progress actually happens.
A Different Way to Think About It
Older adults don’t hate technology.
They hate being made to feel late.
And they’re not late.
They’ve adapted their entire lives.
This is just another chapter.
They don’t need to be rushed.
They need to be respected.
And once you understand that…
everything changes.
